crossroads in life (part 1)

I have a sudden feel that if i am alone (i.e. no Conrad in my life), i won't dare to step out into this overseas working experience.

I will be by myself, still have WBG friends (cos Guang Rong can continue to be the B), living in a rented place (cos no Conrad to be my legal partner - the prereq to getting a hdb apartment), and when the path of overseas working opportunity opens up, i would have go with London (cos michelle is in london).

Funny to realize this myself. I used to be quite an independent teens, living out in a new country by myself at tender age of 16, soaking up my pillow in tears when i was lonely and scared, working all my muscles to haul all my assessment books in a travel size luggage bag (those day, roller type luggage is not common) back to Malaysia through mile long 170 queue and custom immigration. few of my arduous recounts of my early days in Sg.

if i dig deeper into my memory, there were 3 of those big saliva drooling Rottweiler dogs, fierce like mad, to tear me into pieces in my first rental room premise. That place is at telok kurah, the atas rich men place. I have no idea why they need to have 3 big ass dogs to guard the house for them to roam around at night. Singapore is safe. This is not like in some serial killer scotfree Pahang Kampong right?  The maid will lock them up every morning in the backyard, but i am always fearful that one day she forgets or she's ill or diarrhoea can't get up before I need to get to school to chain up those carnivorous canines.

There was a warning letter incident. I was staying in my guardian's house in Pasir Ris. I am not sure about rental arrangement between my dad and him. Now that i have grown up with a house, i understand the $ value importance of rental income. One day, i was home late, out with XY and bunch. Next day, i got a warning letter from him. In this warning letter, there was also things that cannot be done, such as not picking up hair from drain after bathing (erm?! to a 16y.o. girl from a house with maid, i really don't see the logic here).  If found flouting the rules, I have to be fined $80 or something. Fine will double to $160 on the 2nd offence and continue increasing exponentially. wth. This man has the idea of MLM in his genes. I kept the letter in my drawer, mind myself not ever to violate the rules because I have no bloody $80 to pay for not picking up hair, and kept this a secret from my daddy. No point harming their friendship right. Years later, i mentioning this to him. by then living there was over. 

Being a girl walking the long stretch of telok kurah house lined with bunglalows at night can get creepy. there is no car, no one, just shadows casted by trees and freely roaming canines. Everytime i walk that stretch, i will keep my right hand in my pocket holding on tightly to a penknife. Fortunately, i never need to use it.

During that period of time, my favourite time of the week is Fridays cos i will head straight back to JB after school, most hated time of the week is Sunday evening 5 - 6pm. That is the time I have to finish up my dinner, pack up and daddy will drive me back to my tiny room in PR or TK. I will leave with tears in my eyes, trying to fall asleep in the car so my daddy won't have to see me weeping. He will help bring my belongings up to my room and leave. When i shut my doors, i will drop into the pillow and wail away before getting up to settle down and pack my school bag. Fortunately, it got better because there is SCV in TK housemate's room showing Meteor Gardens every Sunday night. I will drop my bags in my room and dash to her room to catch up with how Dao-Ming-Si and San-Cai are proceeding with their relationship. Finally i found some joy in going back to Sg every weekend.

i never regret choosing or daddy and mummy choosing my paths leading me to where i am now.

Catching back with the main point above. After having Conrad in my life, I grow to be dependent. If got people to depend on, why not depend on him right?

(to be continued - if i don't forget, but take it as that will inevitably happen, pls amend the title of this post to "sweet recounts of teenage days")

thanks and i smiled. thanks to the universe, u are treating me really well. thanks for making my dreams come true!